Whos jokes
"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he replies.
What do you call an orphan who takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock." "Who?" "Knock, knock you."
Poultry rape is no joke. It is God's gift to those who want a laugh.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.
Memes
SCP-1540 transforms in-front of a d-class:
D-class: Whoa dude, you’re a wolf!
SCP-1540: A am a were.
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!
A riddle: My enemy is the Joker, I'm black and I help to save Gotham City. Who am I?
Who is the oldest Dave?
Daveon.
Who is the least young Dave?
Dave-on.
What do you call a gender neutral person who is lactose intolerant non-bi dairy?
Is someone who is tardy again actually "retardy"?
Who is my favorite underground rapper?
XXX Tentacion
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
A money manager who counts bars.
Prankster kid: Knock knock.
Neighbor: Who's there?
...
Wayne Couzens, the police officer who killed Sarah Everard, has been complaining about receiving a whole life tariff for her murder...
I think he should count his blessings. He could have had it worse...
He could have married her!
*School Shooter Walks In*
That one kid who plays "Pumped Up Kicks" at max volume.
Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police... Who? It's the police, let me in so I can get some donuts!