When jokes
Two guys were walking down the street, and one of the guys told his friend he could talk any blond in the world into giving him a blowjob, any blond!
So the guy bet him 20 bucks and pointed to this cute blond sitting on the side of the road and said, "Alright, let's see it!"
The other guy walks up to the cutie and says, "Hi, my name's Dave, and my doctor just told me that if I didn't get a blowjob from a blond within three hours, the disease I have will kill me in, oh, let's see now, 22 minutes!"
She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "You mean I could save you from dying right now?" Then she says, "Pull it out!"
Ten minutes later, the two men were laughing and patting old Dave on the back when his friend noticed the blond sitting in the alley bawling her eyes out!
So he walks over to her and says, "I would have thought you would be so happy for saving my friend's life?!"
So she looks up at him just crying her eyes out even worse and says, "I could have saved my dad!"
What happens when a Tandemaus evolves?
Friend: What's that white stuff coming out of the Pokémon Box?
Where does a suicide bomber go when he dies?
Everywhere.
Bro told me this when he passed away.
I’m “Fading.”
What did the man do when he caught his wife cheating on him?
He honor-killed her.
BAHAHA
I have a riddle for you:
10 people are on a boat, but they all die due to a tsunami except the captain.
Then, when he gets home, his wife serves him “penguin meat.”
Once he eats it, he starts crying.
Why?
You know what's so horrible about this website?
When I mimic another person's account, the picture ALWAYS changes color. No more identity theft for me.
Your hairline is so fat that when you meet Santa, you're fatter than him and your mom.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to take a crap... she couldn't even take a crap!
What do you say when you see an apple dancing in a talent show?
He's got some "sweet" moves!
Yo mama so stupid, when I told her she needed some cats, she came back with...
CRASH, ARENA, TURBO STARS!
Yo mama so fat, when you married your sister, she was big enough to sit on the groom's side and the bride's side.
Why does Barry Bannan laugh when he plays football?
Because the grass tickles his balls because he's so short.
"Wanna hear a joke?"
"Sure."
"You SURE will be glad when this dad joke's over."
"That was pretty DAD!"
What time is it when you get home and you can walk, walk? Eeeeeew!
What time is it when you cannot do anything?
What time is it when you get home, and you can walk, walk home and walk, walk home from?
When it's ready for pickup today, I have to get my stimulus payment for a while, and then we'll go to bed... 🥱🥹🥺
When you are in the legendary chest in Fortnite and no golden scar rage.
Computers are females because when they're down, you always charge her.