When jokes
When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomach?
When you see your mom.
Me: bruh
Her: Are you serious right now bro?
Me: Yeah no shit.
Her: *slaps me*
Well, you know what they say, time flies when you're just a ball of anxiety and stress. :D
When Leicester City won the league in 2015/16, do you think there was a little lad in Africa running around with "Drinkwater" on his back, annoying the hell out of the locals?
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
He gets toad.
Memes
"Dream, yo mama so ugly, when she went in the bathtub, the water jumped out!"
What is red, orange, and yellow but doesn’t feel anything when it falls? Autumn leaves. 🍁
If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?
What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her?
She left the plunger in the toilet, she put doorknobs on all the walls, and she rearranged the furniture.
What do you call Panera bread when it’s on top of someone?
Panera head.
Yo mama so ugly, when she was cutting onions, the onions cried instead of her.
Yo mama so ugly, when she sweats, the sweat runs down the back of her head to avoid her face.
You know you're ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
What do you call it when Panera Bread shuts down?
Panera is dead.
Time really freezes when you're stuck on a sinking ship.
I think my dad loves jokes.
Because he laughs when he looks at me.
When you let the school shooter borrow your pen so he doesn't kill you.
Your mama so fat that when she sits around the house, she literally sits around the house.
Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale said: "OOOWWWWW!!!! Get off me, you overweight bucket of lard."
Yo hairline so ugly, when you go to school you fall on a line.