When jokes
Your hairline goes back to when Jeff Bezos had hair.
Little Johnny was learning about anal sex, when he learned what it was he said, "My uncle just calls this shhhhh..."
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.
What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?
A blast from the past!
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry when I chop an onion.
TJ's hairline so far back you still couldn't find it when the Devil was alive.
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion.
"What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job," replied the Priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, next I can become Bishop," said the Priest.
"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.
"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop," said the Priest.
"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated, replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."
"And then?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"
"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"
When you cream pie a tardy hottie, it’s called a loaded potato. 🥴🦴💨🥔
What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."
What did the woman do when the armed police officer raped her?
Freeze.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a suicidal vest?
A suicidal vest actually works when triggered.
Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her tit, I got a mouthful of knee.
When the school shooter starts doing Fortnite dances and the autistic kid joins in.
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.
When do Americans answer their door?
Once freedom rings! ❤️🤍💙
What did the fish say when he hit the wall?
Dam!
3/7 of a chicken, 2/3 cat, 1/2 goat. What do you get when you cross those?
Answer: Chi-ca-go
Yo momma is so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices.
What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?
A dildo.