When jokes

I went to a store to get milk, but when I got home, there were a million cows waiting for milk, so they killed me.

Your hairline so bad that when your teacher puts you to sit in the front of the class, your hairline be all the way in the back.

When Drake was making the song "Back to Back," he was referring to your hairline.

When was the last time you could see your whole body in the mirror?

Your mama is so ugly, when she went to the circus they thought she was Pennywise, Mom.

If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?

Yo mama so ugly, when she sweats, the sweat runs down the back of her head to avoid her face.

What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her?

She left the plunger in the toilet, she put doorknobs on all the walls, and she rearranged the furniture.

Your mama is so fat, when her husband said, "Let's go to the Super Bowl," she bought a spoon.

What do you call Panera bread when it’s on top of someone?

Panera head.

Yo mama so ugly, when she was cutting onions, the onions cried instead of her.

You know you're ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.

What do you call it when Panera Bread shuts down?

Panera is dead.

Time really freezes when you're stuck on a sinking ship.

I think my dad loves jokes.

Because he laughs when he looks at me.

When you let the school shooter borrow your pen so he doesn't kill you.

Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale said: "OOOWWWWW!!!! Get off me, you overweight bucket of lard."

Yo hairline so ugly, when you go to school you fall on a line.

My wife is so fat! When she goes swimming, she leaves a ring around the lake.

My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.

When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.