When jokes

What do you call Panera bread when it’s on top of someone?

Panera head.

Yo mama so ugly, when she was cutting onions, the onions cried instead of her.

Yo mama so ugly, when she sweats, the sweat runs down the back of her head to avoid her face.

You know you're ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.

Time really freezes when you're stuck on a sinking ship.

When you let the school shooter borrow your pen so he doesn't kill you.

Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale said: "OOOWWWWW!!!! Get off me, you overweight bucket of lard."

What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?

Answer: fire.

Your mum is so fat, when she was in front of my apartment, I couldn't get in.

I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏

Grandma: When we go to a wedding, whispers, "You're next."

At a funeral, I whisper, "You're next."

What is red, orange, and yellow but doesn’t feel anything when it falls? Autumn leaves. 🍁

If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?

When my friend fell, I didn't crack up, but the sidewalk did.

When your mum went to the UK and wore a yellow jacket, everyone started yelling "Taxi! Taxi!"

You are so fat that when you jump into the pool, everyone gets out.

The last time your hairline connected was when George Washington was born.

You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!

Yo mama so fat that when she sits, she makes a 7.4 earthquake.

What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? A trip without kids.