When jokes
What does a rifle and a microwave have in common?
They both go "Ping" when they are done.
I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.
Is it just me, or is it normal to you when people scream?
What do you get when you cross a turkey and a centipede?
Drumsticks for everyone!
When I give you the signal, I want you to roll down your window and call the oncoming cyclist a prick.
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out, I'm just a burden.
The toughest job I ever had was when I was selling doors, door-to-door.
So you see all these Baby Yoda memes when you go online, But you have never really seen the show with him.
He is just SOOOO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I was a poo, I’d be the one that gets stuck to the bottom of the shitter when no one wants ya xox.
My name is Devonair.
When I get a haircut, it's always bald.
Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."
My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*
I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.
When you still there?
"Prince, I'm ready to chat when you are. I'm in bed, so yeah, let's chat! Love you!"
Yo mama so ugly that when she looked at the sun, it exploded.
Teacher: I was an orphan when I was younger.
Student: Oof.
Teacher: Is anyone not here?
Student: Yes, your parents.
Don't make a person look a fool when you are the real one!
How do goldfish know when to eat?
They don't. They have a memory span of 3 seconds.
What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? An extraction.
Don't you hate when you have sex with your teacher, then remember you're home schooled?
When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."
Yo mama so ugly, when she entered the scare factory, she came out with a job application.