When jokes
What happens when an emo kid loses a Kahoot? He gets a 25 kill streak.
Why is it that when Donald Trump and Melania make love, she is always on top?
Donald Trump can only F@#k up.
Why are babies called bundles of joy?
When you break the bundle, it gives you joy.
Michael Jackson was working on a cover of a popular Elton John song when he died...
His version was to be called "Don't Let Your Son Go Down on Me"...
When your friend asks why you don't smile, then you look at them and realize no one is there because you have no friends. #my life
It's that time is year again!
Once I saw a mirror... and that was when I got the ability to become a ghost.
The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."
Yo mama so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
What do you call it when you baptize a Mexican? Bean dip!
I was going on a date when I decided to put on Penaldo’s PR7 cologne to smell good. As I put on the cologne, my skin started to turn invisible!
I then realized the cologne had made me turn into a ghost 👻. Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my date 😡!
What does a priest hold on to when having sex?
He holds on to the schoolbag.
Why didn't anyone react when the king farted? -- It was a noble gas.
When Santa asks you what you want for Christmas, then says "ho ho ho," say, "Yes, please."
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
A wife was cleaning her 12-year-old son’s bedroom when she found a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags. She asked her husband, “What do we do?”
The husband said, “I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t fucking spank him.”
A: She looks good when she opens her hair. 😮
B: You will look good when you open your wallet. 👛
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
What do you call it when Panera Bread has bread?
Panera Bread.
Yo mama so fat that when I banged her in the jacuzzi, there was a level 8 tsunami.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she went trick or treating on Halloween 2016, the clowns thought she was their supreme leader.