When jokes
The cannibal says to the other cannibal, "I like it when humans fall from the sky because then they are meateor."
What is missing when an orphan buys a laptop?
The home screen.
When does a kid become an orphan?
When the parents leave.
The cashier kicked me out because when he asked for 99 cents, I gave him 99 scents.
My cousin’s friend spelled “racist” wrong and when my cousin showed me, the first thing I said to my cousin’s friend is “Go to Grammarly. They REALLY teach you spelling.”
Bully: Ur momma so fat that the whales said we are family even though you are a little bigger than us.
Nerd: Yo momma so ugly that when she went in the bathtub, the water jumped out.
Silence...................punch!
Yo momma is so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices.
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
What's the only time women are doing real work? When they are giving blow jobs.
You make Sanic look like a PRINCESS when he's next to you.
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
Orphans are so unwanted that when One Direction saw one, it went the other direction.
Why are orphans so successful?
When they were told to go big or go home, they only had one option.
Girlfriend: Babe, what do you think of our love?
Me: Look at the stars in the sky.
Girlfriend: Aww... it’s infinity, right?
Me: No, it’s a waste of time.
Girlfriend: I’m breaking up with you.
Me: Whatever, when I take out the trash, I think of you.
Why couldn’t Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff?
Because she was wearing mittens.
Your mum is so fat that when she sat on the toilet, she couldn't because her fat ass can't fit on the toilet seat.
I cry when you leave the room. They're tears of joy because you have an ugly hairline.
When someone got the ghost in them, sound in the Priest Busters.
When something strange and it ain't no who you gonna call? Priest Busters.
Zion's so fat, when he walks, he breaks his mama's back.
Zion is so big, when he walks it's an earthquake.