When jokes
I played Clash of Clans, and when I requested troops, all I got were some Muslim wall breakers.
Yo momma's so ugly that when she walked into a Haunted Mansion, she walked back out with a job application.
Yo momma's so fat, when she bought a fur coat, all animals went extinct.
What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?
A blast from the past!
We clap when we see you. We clap our hands over our eyes.
Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
Your hairline dates so far back like when your dad left.
Why do orphans always go to white vans when someone asks?
Because they want to feel wanted.
Your mama is so fat, when scientists discovered her, they thought it was a new galaxy.
You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.
When your mum sold you on eBay for £2 pound for girls stripper.
When your friends [are] talking about sports:
Jake says, "It was 17.56M people watching [the] basketball championship."🦁
Sam says, "It was 113M people watching the Super Bowl." 😯🐱
Avion says, "It was up from 1.12 billion people watching [the] World Cup." 😶🙀
Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!
Me: The last time I used Duolingo was when the dinosaurs went extinct.
Duolingo: Lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)
You know you have twisted humor when you crack a smile when a Minecraft farmer says he separates the white sheep from the colored ones.
Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.
Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.
Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.
But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."
I hate when people make 9/11 jokes, I'm just blown away.
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing someone's cast.