When jokes
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk home from school today?
Yo mama so fat that when she attempted suicide, she bounced to Area 51.
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
What time is it when you walk home from school? Time to rest.
My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."
So I said, "Okay."
Memes
What time is it when you say "what?"
Time to start over!
Samuel liked Batman when he was a kid.
He still is a kid.
When I feel ugly, I just look at my brother and get over it.
She’s so therapeutic.
When I need to cure my restlessness, I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your mom's breastestess!
"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."
It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.
His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets 7 years of bad luck.
Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.
Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.
Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!
What did the hijackers say when they crashed into the Twin Towers?
"Jenga!"
My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday. I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch.
What's the difference between Derek Boogaard and Kurt Cobain? Nothing, they were both fucked in the brain when they died.
The only thing funnier than the shooting of that healthcare CEO is imagining the look on his wife's face when she got the hospital bill.
What did Michael Jackson say when dinner was ready? Ea-ea-eat.
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!