When jokes
When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.
What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?
5 dollar footlongs.
When we told Twin Towers to put on airplane mode, we didn't mean a real airplane.
What is Labor Day? That’s when mommies have their babes.
Why are orphans sad when playing Roblox?
There isn't any parents on Roblox.
Memes
What do Emos say when they trick-or-treat?
"Boo-hoo!"
When I feel ugly, I just look at my brother and get over it.
What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?
"That is bull crap!"
What time is it when you say "what?"
Time to start over!
What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?
Time to get outside!
My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."
So I said, "Okay."
What did the math acorn say when it grew up?
"Gee-I'm-a-tree."
Samuel liked Batman when he was a kid.
He still is a kid.
She’s so therapeutic.
When I need to cure my restlessness, I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your mom's breastestess!
Why did the man sit on his porch and bark at the postman when he came?
Because his dog had a sore throat!
What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?
At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.
Yo mom is so fat that when she stands on a scale, she broke it, lol.
Yo mama so fat, when she play a game, everybody lags.
Someone went to fly and thought of pizza.
You're so fat that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.