When jokes
When Knife tells Annoying Orange, "I'm trying something new," Annoying Orange said, "Oh no, are you having a midknife crisis?" and then Annoying Orange laughs.
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
What happens when skeletons score points in a game?
They get a bone-us.
When you think of the word "simp," you think of a girl. "Girl" stands for ghosts in real life. Another word for simp is "ding dong." Put them together, and you get ghosts in real life with ding dongs.
My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.
Memes
Meat stands for: M - monitoring, E - evaluating, A - assessing/addressing, T - treatment.
So when you're shoving meat up people's asses, then you're monitoring them, evaluating them, assessing them, and treating them.
When I found out that my toaster wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked.
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
"I wanna sock in the eye so bad!"
What do you say when the toilet is clogged?
Oh shit!
Ready when you are, KK.
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk home from school today?
Yo mama so fat that when she attempted suicide, she bounced to Area 51.
Yo' mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.
People's music when friends are around: *rock*
When they are gone: "Come on, vamanos, everybody let's go!"
How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?
He CRACKed up.
What do Karens do when they have free time?
They do KARENoke and sing a Karen song.
I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.
—Shane Richie, British actor
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
A Cock-a-POODLE-Doo!
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they went through 42 stories in 7 seconds.
What is David Bowie known for when making music? He gets his beats from his kids.