When jokes
What do you get when you cross a Chinese and an Indian man?
A car thief who can't drive.
The only thing funnier than the shooting of that healthcare CEO is imagining the look on his wife's face when she got the hospital bill.
Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the beach in a blue dress, everyone screamed "tsunami!"
"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."
It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.
His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.
When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets 7 years of bad luck.
What did the hijackers say when they crashed into the Twin Towers?
"Jenga!"
Yo mama so short, when she tried sniffing cocaine, she couldn’t get high.
Why do orphans always go to white vans when someone asks?
Because they want to feel wanted.
Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"
When Helen Keller drives a car, people call her Asian.
Me: The last time I used Duolingo was when the dinosaurs went extinct.
Duolingo: Lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)
I played Clash of Clans, and when I requested troops, all I got were some Muslim wall breakers.
What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?
A blast from the past!
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
When there are more suicidal people, it means there are fewer suicidal people. That means there is an infinite generator of them.
Yo momma's so fat, when she bought a fur coat, all animals went extinct.
Yo momma's so ugly that when she walked into a Haunted Mansion, she walked back out with a job application.