When jokes

Yo mama's so ugly, when she was little, she had to trick-or-treat by phone.

What's the opposite of an exorcism?

When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child...

When Helen Keller drives a car, people call her Asian.

Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.

Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.

Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!

"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."

You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.

What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?

Monkeypox.

What do two priests say to each other when they walk into an orphanage?

"Let us pray."

What do you call it when someone fucks shoe inserts?

Orthopediphilia.

Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...

What did the hijackers say when they crashed into the Twin Towers?

"Jenga!"

When I have a staring contest, I always win.

Every day, I see blind people who hate me.

Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?

'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.

When your mum sold you on eBay for £2 pound for girls stripper.

Your hairline is so back when the police saw it, they had to arrest you.

My girlfriend sent “a let’s break up text” right when I was done editing our pics.

Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.

We clap when we see you. We clap our hands over our eyes.

Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?

Lots of blood tests!