When jokes

Prison

I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.

Cow

What did the cow say when it wanted to go to the movies? -- "Let's go to the moovies!"

Dog

Little Johnny got a dog without ears, and then they invited their neighbors over. Then they asked what his name was. The owners said, "We didn't name him anything, because there's no reason. Because when we called his name, he wouldn't come."

Dick

Your dick is so small they thought you were a girl when you came into the world.

Memes

Santa

My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.

Space

What do you call it when Neil Armstrong started cuming in space?

The Milky Way.

Sister

When I was 8, my sister was half my age. I am 60 now, how old is my sister?

Comments: 30! Give me an easier question next time!

Shooter

When the school shooter gives the autistic kid a glock and he shoots himself, thinking it’s a cigarette.

School Shooter

When the school shooter is getting roasted because of his Pokemon lunch box, but they don't know that there is a Glock 34 inside.

King

What did kings say when they were made king?

Allah ail (All hail) [insert name here]!

Thyme

A guy goes to the store to buy thyme.

When he got back to put the thyme away he realized he still had thyme left. This was all for nothing, it was just a big waste of your thyme.

Woman

Women are like tornadoes.

They scream when they are coming and take your house when they are leaving.

Dog

What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?

Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!

Cat

What does a cat say when it's angry?

- Stop stressing meowt!

Dick pic

When you send a dick pic and she sends one back,

I'm glad mine is the biggest, so I get to fuck my dad again.