When jokes
Why are washers better than babies?
Washers don't cry when you put a load in them.
What is it called when a cow sings? A lawsuit.
When I was younger, I went to an Indian convenience store to pick up a lottery ticket. When the cashier handed me the ticket, she told me to "hold it properly." So I ripped the red dot right off of her forehead.
What's the opposite of an exorcism?
When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child...
Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"
Why do orphans do so well in life?
When people told them "Go big or go home," they only had one option.
What's red, six inches long, and made my girlfriend cry when I fed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
Joker gives Batman a phone.
Thomas: "Uhh, son, we need to talk... about the uhh, dressing up."
Martha: "Hello dearie, Brucie, is it ok if you visit me when you go to Joker's house?"
Yo mama is so fat that when I was printing a picture of her last year, it's still printing.
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats," but none of them touch the man's penis and say "well done?"
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, you can hear the chair screaming.
I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with a snowman?
FROSTY RHYMES!
When I was recently standing in front of a huge puddle with my buddy, I remembered how he tricked me a week ago. So I tricked him...
When Santa asks you what you want for Christmas, then says "ho ho ho," say, "Yes, please."
Your hairline goes back to when Jeff Bezos had hair.
What happened when the depressed kid went to give it a high five?
It left him hanging.
What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?
A blast from the past!
Jesus will be history when I realize he's behind me.
Why do Indian people have bad tempers? Because when they were growing up, their parents told them they couldn't have a cow, so they threw a tantrum instead.