When jokes

When I get jokes. They aren't f****** restarted like you.

My sister.

What is it called when you have four white people in the car?

Clear windows.

When a wheelchair kid bends over, wheelchair kid goes “ohhahahhahhahahahahal!”

A hunter shot holes into his favorite book.

When confronted, he said it was the "holey" Bible!

Q: Why are orphans so successful? A: Because when they were younger, they got told, "Go big or go home," and only had one option.

When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."

What happens to teeth when they go in water?

Bro, I dunno, they get wet?

Yo mama so old, when she left the antique shop, the alarm went off.

Why do orphans do so well in life?

When people told them "Go big or go home," they only had one option.

What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.

When your mama went to Sea World, the whales started singing, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"

Why tie when you can knot?

When I went to see the doctor, he remarked that he hadn't seen me in a while.

I said that I have been ill.

Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?

Why?

So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.

Yo momma's so hairy that when the baby came out, it got rug burn.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

"Where's my tractor!"

"Don't sneeze!"

Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.

Also,

"It dangles and swung!"

Language art quizzes are the best.

What did the skeleton play when he joined the band?

A tromBONE.

What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?

"Can you give me some pointers?"

What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?

When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.