When jokes
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
What did Stevie Wonder see when he got murdered?
Nothing.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes into a bank, they turn off the cameras.
My impression of Michael Jackson's butler:
When answering the phone: "No, sorry, he's dead." *hangs up phone*
Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"
Memes
?????? funny
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.
The real reason women are always cold is because they’re not in front of a stove or an oven. So, naturally, when they leave the habitat, they need to have two blankets.
There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"
When I was in middle school, I was kidnapped by a terrorist organization.
Al-gebra.
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.
When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,
other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."
It must have been a sad day when you slithered out of the abortion bucket.
Me: Why do you need to use shampoo when you are already bald? 🤣
What did the Twin Towers get when they ordered an extra large pepperoni pizza?
When the pizza man got there, all they got was plane.
What did the grandma say at the hospital when you pulled the tube?...................
People always ask what the secret of our family's happiness is. It is simple really.
1. Television and computer games are limited to a couple of hours each week.
2. We all give each other a hand when needed.
Last but not least, we play Twister.
VOTING SEMIFINAL 1
LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”.
Vote for the better joke.
When Ariana Grande walked into the church, she said, "GOD IS A WOMAN!"
What do you do when you run out of lines on your book?
You look at the emo girl and say, "Hey, can I borrow your arm?"
What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
"This tastes a little funny."