When jokes

I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.

Why did the orphan join the baseball team?

Because he knew when he got to third base he could head home.

When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"

The pterodactyl went in my bathroom and peed.

When I was in the shower, I couldn't hear it. Why? Because the "p" is silent.

What does Marcus Rashford say when he comes to the stadium?

I wanna kick some balls!

Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light!" she blocked the sun. Now we call her the moon.

When the school shooter enters the classroom and it's the quiet kid's dad.

I got my husband a fridge for his birthday. His face lit up when he opened it.

What happened when the depressed person waved at a tree?

It left him hanging.

You're so ugly that when your mama had you, she tried to give you away, but there was nowhere to give you.

What did the mom say when her child came out?

"The head was so big!"

What do you get when you goblin with a shark?

Who remembers when Gwen was the only thing people talked about on this website?

Your mama's so fat that when she went to space, there was no space left.

Your mama's so ugly that when she looks in the mirror, you can see Micah.

I wasn't close to my dad when he died.

Which was good, he died to a landmine.

What do you call California when it’s having a wildfire? Completely normal.

Your momma is so dumb that when they said it was chilly outside, she came outside with a bowl.

Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”

I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.