When jokes
What did they call Hitler when he swam?
Adolfin.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it cracked.
Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"
What did Osama give the Windows on the World restaurant in the WTC as a rating when he ate it? A 9/11!
What does Bugs Bunny say when he has a boner?
"What's up, cock?"
One day I was walking next to a homeless man, and he was eating grass. I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I said, "Follow me." You should have seen his face when I showed him my backyard!
I wonder if any of these people are still alive.
Anyways,
When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.
When people tell me to "go to hell," I tell them their address.
Q. What hits the ground first when falling out of a tree, a leaf or an emo kid? A. A leaf. There is usually a rope to stop the emo kid.
I bet the emo kids are jealous when they go to a funeral.
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
When you're born on 4/20/69...
When you see an orphanage bully, remind them that no matter how powerful they are, they will never be as strong as their dads... Oh wait, they don't have a dad.
Yo mama so dumb that when she went to Starbucks, she thought she could buy a star.
Yo mama is so small that when she saw the Titanic, she called it the size of the Netherlands.
Yo mama is so fat, when she wore yellow, the kids thought they missed the bus.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!
Your forehead is so big when you walk by I can't see what's in front of me.
Yo momma's teeth so yellow, when she smiled at traffic, all the cars slowed down.