When jokes
Mommy, when will daddy come back?
I'm not your mom...
You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"
Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her titties, I got a mouth full of knee.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.
What do you get when you cross a shark and a computer? Computer bytes!
Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"
How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?
Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
Here’s another joke my friend told me.
What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.
As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
What are the subtitles when a disabled person speaks in a movie?
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Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.
Why do they call it emotion when the root word is emo, but emos don't show emotion?
Your mama's so fat when she sat on the toilet, the toilet said, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, get your fat ass off of me!"
What is the best feeling for an orphan when he plays Grand Theft Auto?
When he is wanted!
What does a plug do when he's horny?
He jacks off!
What's a reversed exorcism?
It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.
When your mom fell down, a 10 magnitude earthquake shook the Earth.
When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! 🐑💨