When jokes

When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.

But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!

When a donkey digs a tunnel, it is called a burro.

What noise did Steven Hawking make when he died?

Windows shutting down.

Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.

What happened when the teacher tied all the students' shoe laces together?

They took a class trip.

Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?

A: HeHe.

What did the man say when he swallowed a clock and tried to go to the bathroom?

WATCH OUT!!!

What time is it when you get home and you walk, walk home and walk, walk home?

What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?

It said nothing, just let out a little wine.

How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?

He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.

Yo Mama so thin, when she signed up to be a stripper she became the pole

Your Mama so fat, when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed but the sidewalk cracked up.

Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?

A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.

What does Michael say when he laughs? He he.

Why does Donald Trump love little boys?

Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little cocks.

When you play Flappy Bird in 9/11, the bird is a plane and the obstacle courses are towers.

Your hairline goes back to when your dad left you.

A husband came back from a business trip and found out that his wife was pregnant. At first, he got a bit suspicious, but then he just ignored it and hugged his wife with happiness. The second when he met his friend and told him the news, the friend just said, "Wait, what? I thought she was on pills!"

I went to the pharmacy the other day. I tried to buy a pack of condoms, but I pretended I didn't have enough money to mess with the cashier.

I went back into the aisles of the store, got a pack of rubber bands and plastic wrap, bought them, and walked out. I loved the look on the cashier's face when they saw my decision.

So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.