When jokes

Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

In case they get a hole in one!

Why do they call it emotion when the root word is emo, but emos don't show emotion?

I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."

Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.

When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! 🐑💨

I was playing Warzone last night, and I shot my teammate that said they were emo. When I shot him, another player did, and it said "assist kill."

Yo mama so fat that she broke the scale when she put one foot on it.

When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to just cheer up, god damn, why didn't I think of that?

What couldn’t the boy in the wheelchair do when he saw a bully? He couldn’t stand up for himself.

Q. What does a Russian girl do when she gets unexpectedly pregnant?

A. Has an abortion.

What happens to grapes when you step on them? They wine.

What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?

It said nothing, just let out a little wine.

What time is it when you get home and you walk, walk home and walk, walk home?

When a donkey digs a tunnel, it is called a burro.

What noise did Steven Hawking make when he died?

Windows shutting down.

Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.

When I see James Charles, my popcorn goes pop pop.

What do you get when Cayden steals your sandwich? A knuckle sandwich.

What happened when the teacher tied all the students' shoe laces together?

They took a class trip.

What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?

Predator 2.