When jokes
Why am I so successful?
When I was told to go big or go home, I only had one option.
Yep, this happens when you play G.T.A., good God!
Yo Mama so thin, when she signed up to be a stripper she became the pole
What time do terrorists arrive in New York City?
9:11 AM
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
FUCKING GENIUS
Ok guys, I have one last joke (for now).
What do you call it when Panera is over?
Panera end.
Your Mama so fat, when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed but the sidewalk cracked up.
What does Michael say when he laughs? He he.
What do you get when Cayden steals your sandwich? A knuckle sandwich.
What does a plug do when he's horny?
He jacks off!
Me: Bro, I don't think the Twin Towers will ever order pizza again.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because when they ordered pepperoni, all they got was plane.
Me to bully: You are so fat that when the satellite took the picture, you were considered as an island.
Bully: (Speechless)
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.
If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!
What is the best feeling for an orphan when he plays Grand Theft Auto?
When he is wanted!
What are the subtitles when a disabled person speaks in a movie?
nsjajahdahwggwdgdvtwqfdvgcqgvhheydgdygsydgdfydwfwdgsqgsgyd
The Twin Towers should've known they were gonna get hit when their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
When your mom fell down, a 10 magnitude earthquake shook the Earth.
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.