When jokes
Ur mum is so fat that when she lived in a flat on the highest floor, she fell through the inner floor.
My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
Are you a building because I rate you a 9/11?
Why were the Twin Towers mad when they ordered pizza?
One arrived plain, one came in late, one went to the wrong address, and the other one never came.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.
Why can't orphans really play baseball?
Because when they do, all the other kids tell that joke that everyone has heard more than 50 times.
Me verses my mother
Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.
Yep, this happens when you play G.T.A., good God!
Yo Mama so thin, when she signed up to be a stripper she became the pole
Your Mama so fat, when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed but the sidewalk cracked up.
What does Michael say when he laughs? He he.
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.
Me: Bro, I don't think the Twin Towers will ever order pizza again.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because when they ordered pepperoni, all they got was plane.
Why does Donald Trump love little boys?
Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little cocks.
The Twin Towers should've known they were gonna get hit when their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!
If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?
European.
Me to bully: You are so fat that when the satellite took the picture, you were considered as an island.
Bully: (Speechless)
My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.
What did the man say when he swallowed a clock and tried to go to the bathroom?
WATCH OUT!!!
What time is it when you get home and you walk, walk home and walk, walk home?