When jokes

Why does Donald Trump love little boys?

Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little cocks.

Me: Bro, I don't think the Twin Towers will ever order pizza again.

Friend: Why?

Me: Because when they ordered pepperoni, all they got was plane.

I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.

If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?

European.

Me to bully: You are so fat that when the satellite took the picture, you were considered as an island.

Bully: (Speechless)

Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

Your momma's so fat, when I went to suck her titties, I got a mouth full of knee.

How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?

Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.

Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.

Mommy, when will daddy come back?

I'm not your mom...

What do you get when you cross a shark and a computer? Computer bytes!

Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.

You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"

Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.

And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.

What do you call it when an orphan takes a selfie?

A family portrait.

Yo mama so fat when she step on a scale it say, "To be continued..."

A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"

She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"

He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."

Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

In case they get a hole in one!

What would happen if a dam broke when you are on it?

You would be dam unlucky.