When jokes
The interviewer asked me if I had a criminal record when I was requesting Australian citizenship.
I replied, "No. Is that still required?"
Yo mama so fat, survivors of the Titanic said a fat girl on the bow was so heavy, the ship started to sink, but when she reached the stern, the ship split.
It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11, but it's not funny when I found out my mate's mum jumped from the 21st floor.
You're so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near!
When you have a hand clock it goes tic-tac.
When an American has it go backwards, it's tactic.
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
Why am I so successful?
When I was told to go big or go home, I only had one option.
Ur mum so fat that when she walked into a bar, they said, "Sorry, we don't sell food here."
What happens when a battery commits a crime? They get charged!
When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.
But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!
Yo mama so fat, when she made a joke, only one person laughed at it: the pavement. It was absolutely cracking up!
Yo momma is so fat, when she tried to hang herself, the noose broke.
Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you! 😫
What's the hardest thing when working with the severely mentally handicapped?
My dick.
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.
My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.
What do you call it when school starts in Africa?
Black to school.
Are you a blanket? Because I love it when you’re on top of me.
What did Joe Biden say when he got pulled over?
I'm just a-Biden the law, officer.
I was trying to hang the lights when I accidentally kicked the chair.