When jokes

Orphan

An orphan uses a family bathroom, and when he comes out, he gets told, "This is a family bathroom."

Depression

When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.

Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂

If you know it, you know it.

Chicken

Ok, so my brother made this, here it is:

Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? Chicken garbage!

Ok I know it makes no sense, but he made it when he was like 3.

Abortion

Q. What does a Russian girl do when she gets unexpectedly pregnant?

A. Has an abortion.

Memes

Hobby

It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.

Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."

"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."

Miscarriage

When you find out your wife had a miscarriage,

So you start singing "It’s the best day ever!"

Bigfoot

How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.

Mama

Yo mama is so ugly that the Grinch fell out when he saw her!

Dick

What do you get when you cross a dick and a potato?

A dictator.

Orphanage

I was walking down the hallway at my job when I saw a kid crying.

I asked him where his parents were, and he kept crying.

Man, I love working at the orphanage.

Pizza

How come pizza boxes are square when the pizza is a circle cut into triangles?

Murder

Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.

Dick

What's the hardest thing when working with the severely mentally handicapped?

My dick.

Museum

The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."