When jokes
When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.
But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!
What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?
They both make a sound when thrown.
When your mama went to Sea World, the whales started singing, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
What do rednecks find when they research their family tree?
Their INCESTors!
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."
(I'm a trans man myself lol)
How did the cookie 🍪 feel when he was dunked in milk?
Batter.
I cried when my dad cut onions. Onions was such a good dog.
Yo mama is so fat, when she's walking down the street, there are cracks all over the sidewalk.
Yo mama's so fat, when she sat down there was a big earthquake.
You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.
What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.
Yo mama so Karen that when she went to hell, she asked Satan for the manager.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball, guu?
What's the opposite of an exorcism?
When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child...
Your mama is so ugly that when she stood on the scale, it said "to be continued."
When a boy points at his parents, they disappear.
Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?
You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-
(Destroys phone cutely)
Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"