When jokes

When an orphan takes a family photo, it's called a selfie.

When Elsa said, "Let it go," you took it too seriously and let go of your hairline.

When I see the little brother in a video get everything, I try it and get grounded ;-;

When my bro says "YOUR MOM" when I'm talking when I'm at school, and my friend says "YOUR MOM," me punches him;-;

When I'm chilling and a little kid ruins my moment.

Yo mama so ugly, when she went to an ugly contest, they told her, "No pros allowed."

Yo mama so fat, when she sits down she dislocates Earth out of its orbit.

Yo mama so fat that when she steps into an elevator, she has to go down.

The first child, Daisy, asks her mother why she is named Daisy. The mother said, "That's because a daisy fell on your head when you were born."

The second child, Raindrop, asked why he is named Raindrop, and the mother said, "That's because a drop of rain fell on your head when you were born."

Then the third child, Cinderblock, said, "fxg,kxf dsdsvtg,hjer,btjh,rbtsvikvsdtxde43f."

What did the Indian say when he bumped into someone else?

"Sari."

Yo mama so fat when she went to the movie theater, she sits next to everyone.

A wife was cleaning her 12-year-old son’s bedroom when she found a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags. She asked her husband, “What do we do?”

The husband said, “I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t fucking spank him.”

Why did the orphan cry when he got back home?

Because he did not have one.

I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"

Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."

Confusion life question!!!

* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.

Oh wait, I'm thinking of...

When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.

But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!

What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?

They both make a sound when thrown.

When your mama went to Sea World, the whales started singing, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"

When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”