When jokes
I bet emos get jealous when their phone dies.
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.
Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?
A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)
You're so fat, when you wear a yellow raincoat, people call out, "TAXI!"
Yo mama is so fat that when she fell over, she created the Grand Canyon.
Q: What did people say when Kim Kardashian was at the beach?
A: Stop littering!
Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?
Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?
I swear I always finish on page 3 when I'm looking at family pictures.
What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?
It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? A trip without kids.
Yo mama so dumb, when her computer was asking for cookies, she grabbed a cookie, smashed it onto the screen, and broke the computer.
The last time your hairline connected was when George Washington was born.
What happens to teeth when they go in water?
Bro, I dunno, they get wet?
Ask someone to call you a bitch. When they do, tell them, "Bitches do as they are told!"
How do men like their women? Striped.
How does a priest like their children? Clean.
Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.
What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.
What is 6 inches tall when bricked up and is loved by women?
A strong man’s biceps.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay.
He replied, "No." The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?" The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever." So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked. "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before." The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?" The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
When a person in a wheelchair says, "You've never taken a step in my shoes," and you say, "To be honest, you haven't either."
Q: What did the Jewish person say when he beat me in a race?
A: Eat my dust.