When jokes
I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"
Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of...
When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.
But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!
What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?
They both make a sound when thrown.
When your mama went to Sea World, the whales started singing, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
What do rednecks find when they research their family tree?
Their INCESTors!
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."
(I'm a trans man myself lol)
How did the cookie 🍪 feel when he was dunked in milk?
Batter.
I cried when my dad cut onions. Onions was such a good dog.
Yo mama is so fat, when she's walking down the street, there are cracks all over the sidewalk.
Yo mama's so fat, when she sat down there was a big earthquake.
You know you have weird Indian parents when you can hear them canilingus each other.
What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.
Yo mama so Karen that when she went to hell, she asked Satan for the manager.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball, guu?
What's the opposite of an exorcism?
When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child...
Your mama is so ugly that when she stood on the scale, it said "to be continued."