When jokes

I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.

You're so skinny when you lift up weights, you fall through your asshole.

What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?

Answer: fire.

Nana when Zane kisses her in her mind: [Insert Chiwawa Scream!]

Yo mama so fat when the doctor saw her weight on the scale he said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"

When your friends [are] talking about sports:

Jake says, "It was 17.56M people watching [the] basketball championship."🦁

Sam says, "It was 113M people watching the Super Bowl." 😯🐱

Avion says, "It was up from 1.12 billion people watching [the] World Cup." 😶🙀

I am so depressed! I get jealous when my phone dies.

What time do terrorists arrive in New York City?

9:11 AM

Your mama is so fat. When she went skydiving, it caused a global panic.

You are so ugly, when you were born, your mother asked for a receipt.

Yo mama so fat, when she passed by the TV, I missed a whole season of SpongeBob.

That awkward moment when a fat kid says, “That’s how I roll.”

Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in a mirror, it says, "Viewer discretion advised!"

Yo mama so fat, when she talks to herself, it’s a long-distance call.

You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.

I kinda feel sorry for Hitler.

Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.

Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.

When God gives you glory, you give it back.

Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.

Joe mama so fat when she weighs herself, the weigh explodes.

Joe mama so fat, when she did the IShowSpeed dance, she fell five floors down.