When jokes
Your mum is so fat that when she wore a yellow coat people called taxi!
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
How do you know when you're disliked?
When they always give you the camera for group photos.
*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?
girl: Are you saying I'm fat?
When it's ready for pickup today, I have to get my stimulus payment for a while, and then we'll go to bed... 🥱🥹🥺
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.
A lot of things changed when I got my girlfriend pregnant: my name, my address, and my phone number.
When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.
Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
When an orphan takes a selfie, it's a family photo.
I was excited to finally watch the new documentary on Netflix. It was about Pessi’s UberEats career.
In the trailer, Pessi delivered food to French farmers. I watched the documentary and got shocked when I found out how finished Pessi is. He delivered one Pizza in 44 attempts.
When you're having a normal day at school, but then...
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"
Tell an emo, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"
Q: What does Pakistan love to do with India when they go to war?
A: Surrender their 93,000 soldiers.
Alabama gene pools are so shallow, when they freeze over, it's just snow.
Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
Yo mama's so fat, when she went on the scale it said, "Still counting."
When I saw Stephen Hawking for the first time, I knew he had been in a shop!!! I lieeeeeeeeed! 🤣🤣🤣