When jokes
My best friend is black. It really pissed me off when my mom sold him.
What does a Right-Winger say when he sees a rainbow above the sky?
"A colorful sky? That's too woke for me. Jesus and our ancestors would have never stood for this!"
Yo mama so poor, when I ring the doorbell, she says, "DING!"
When they said sin was ugly to look at, I didn't know God would use you as an example.
When the police caught him stealing batteries, he was immediately charged.
The cops are accusing him of resisting. He's now languishing in a cell, where he is currently awaiting an appearance in Circuit Court.
"Sir, we noticed a 2-year gap in your resume."
"That was when I went to Yale."
"A Yale man? Well, you're hired!"
"Thanks! I really need this yob!"
What does a computer scientist do when someone tries to fight him?
He waves his arms like a space invader.
Yo Mama is so dumb, she works best when she is unemployed.
When recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
Conversely, you can recycle a condom quite easily: just turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it.
When I finished playing my guitar, I noticed an amputee in the crowd not giving me a round of applause.
When you're sad, don't feel down about yourself. Break a leg, and you'll forget all about it.
What do you get when you combine a penis and a potato?
A dictator.
What did the man do when he caught his wife cheating on him?
He honor-killed her.
Q. Who do you call when a baby with anencephaly is born? A. The funeral home.
What does Meg do when she gets a cold sore?
She bathes in diarrhea.
So, I was at the gas station drinking a Slurpee when I heard an old lady start talking to me. She says, "Hey, can you check my balance?" so she could buy a chocolate bar.
So, I pushed her over and said, "Not much."
What do feminists do when they fail at something?
Blame men for sexism and misogyny.
Do you think midgets start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
Yo mama so fat, when I went to the beach, the sun went down.
What happens to an Indian's doorbell when you ring it?
A ring-a-ding-a-ding.