When jokes
What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?
When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.
Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?
When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”
What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.
Your mama so fat, when she walked past the TV, you missed two episodes.
One day, a father was showering, and his daughter ran into the bathroom while he was getting out and drying off.
The daughter curiously pointed to her father's penis and asked, "Daddy, when am I going to get one of those!?"
The father replied quickly, "In about 15 minutes, when your mother leaves for work."
One day I was walking next to a homeless man, and he was eating grass. I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I said, "Follow me." You should have seen his face when I showed him my backyard!
I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend. It was really distracting when she kept saying her age.
The interviewer asked me if I had a criminal record when I was requesting Australian citizenship.
I replied, "No. Is that still required?"
Q. What do you get when you cross Vince Li with a bus? A. A whole lot of people who wished they'd missed the bus that day.
What does the blind man say when he walks past the fish market?
"Hello, ladies!"
Yo mama so fat...
...people in Florida start buying flood insurance when they see her waddling toward the ocean.
What did Michael Jackson say when dinner was ready? Ea-ea-eat.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A Democrat will keep screwing you when you run out of money.
What did Snow White say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."
What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills somebody, you know it's been fired.
When you accidentally make your joke too dirty and get in shit from Explain Bear.