When jokes
When you know that everyone thinks you're a hoe.
WHEN Y'ALL ARE MY HOES!
That feeling when elbow surgery was yesterday.
What does a Jewish man say when he sees a caricature of his face?
"We need to circumcise that one."
Falco: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knockoff Fox, knockoff Fox.
Fox: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire and I get all your aerial skills.
Falco: Wat...
An Indian has a seat between two Pakistani's on board an airplane.
It's quite obvious to each of the three men where they are from. The Indian asks, "Pardon me gentleman, you wouldn't mind me sitting between you, do you? This is my seat, after all."
The Pakistanis look at each other, and then look back at him. One of them smiles and says, "Not at all! After all, Pakistanis and Indians are brothers! Are we not?"
The Indian is delighted at how warm and friendly they are, and he takes his seat. Shortly the plane takes off and the three guys are just chilling until the Indian says, "You know it's going to be a long ride and I am getting thirsty. Brothers, can I get any of you like a drink?" Then one of them says, "Yes brother, I would like a Coke!"
The Indian slips off his shoes and walks barefoot to where the stewardess is at, and when the Indian is out of view, one of the Pakistanis spits into his shoe. The Indian comes back and gives him a Coke.
Then the other Pakistani says, "You know what brother? I would also like a Coke too!" The Indian happily obliges, and as soon as he is out of view, he also spits in his shoe before the Indian gives him a Coke.
Finally, the Indian slips on his shoes and suddenly realizes how wet they are. He shakes his head and says, "Brothers! Why must we do this to each other, spitting in each other's shoes and peeing in each other's Cokes?"
What is a government mandate?
When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.
Why is prostitution illegal?
Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.
What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common?
They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs.
What's the hardest thing when working with the severely mentally handicapped?
My dick.
I have a dog named Syndrome.
But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout, "DOWN SYNDROME!"
What do you call it when school starts in Africa?
Black to school.
Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were younger?
Well, Bubbles is back in town and was asking about you!
What do you call it when a white person beats a black person?
A KKKO.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
When a mute girl gives a hand job, is it oral?
What do spiders and Black people have in common?
When they’re black, they kill you.
A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."
He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."
He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."
He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"
My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.
What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.