When jokes
"When God sends me to hell... I want him to hesitate." -Techno
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
A rhyme scheme that's all about the Benjamins!
During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"
What did the rapper say when their computer crashed?
"Looks like I just dropped a HARD DRIVE!"
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?
For when it started RAINING RHYMES.
I was sitting on my own in a restaurant when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”
Yo mama is so clumsy, when she had her first kickboxing lesson, she kicked herself in the testicles.
Yo mama is so dumb, when she had a brain scan, the result was 404...
What did the rapper say when he stubbed his toe?
"Ouch! That's NOT a sick beat!"
Q. What do you say when your friend has an abortion?
A. May your baby rest in pieces.
Yo, Leo, are you an interior decorator? Because when you enter a room, it becomes EMPTY!
Blessed Brian, your secrets are safe with me... because I wasn’t listening when you told them.
When I have sex, my girlfriend screams, especially when I walk in on her.
What did Daveon say when he saw a spider? "I'm Dave-on with this!"
Yo mama is so ugly, when she went for plastic surgery, they accidentally gave her face a Brazilian Butt Lift!
Yo mama is so ugly, when she got raped, the rapist was the one getting PTSD!
Leo must be an INTERIOR DECORATOR... because when she enters a room, it becomes UGLY.
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in some laundry...
When's the only time a rapeboat is quiet? When he got his uncle's cock in his mouth.
Nasruddin Hodja was tilling his patch of land when a hunter came riding up.
“Hey, you!" said the man. “Did you see a boar run past?"
“Yes," replied Hodja.
“Which way did it go?" demanded the man.
Hodja pointed in the direction in which the boar had gone.
The man rode away without a word of thanks, but he was back within minutes.
“No sign of it!" he said. “Are you sure it went that way?"
“I am certain," replied Hodja. “It went that way. Two years ago."