When jokes
You're so ugly, when a pig saw you, it thought that you were their family member.
Your breath is so bad that when Santa came to your house for your present, he brought toothpaste.
Your mum is so fat, when she slept on the bed, the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinosaur.
I hate when people make 9/11 jokes, I'm just blown away.
Your hairline is so bad that the queen died when looking at it!
The Twin Towers should've known they were gonna get hit when their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"
Why did the midget laugh when he ran? Because the grass tickles his balls.
I wasn't close to my dad when he died.
Which was good. He died during 9/11.
Why does Donald Trump love little boys? Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little prepubescent cocks.
My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
Orphans are so unwanted that when One Direction saw one, it went the other direction.
What did the receptionist at the sperm bank say when you were leaving? "Thanks for coming!" 😉😉
How do you know an orphan is lying? When they swear on their mother's life.
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
John Kreese's forehead broke when silver hit 'em in the forehead.
Your forehead is so big, when you go to the toilet, it bends. You stooped.
Where did little billy go when he was stuck in a minefield... everywhere.
That joke was pretty dark, but it got pretty light for a second.
Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.
Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!
When you meet your gf at the family reunion.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”