Wheelchair jokes
What’s the hardest part about making vegetable soup?
To put the wheelchair in the pot.
No matter how hard I try, I will never be a stand-up comedian.
My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.
A guy in a wheelchair said, "I stand for Boris." But I think he meant he sat for Boris.
Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.
There's an old lady doing gardening every year. Nothing grows. She goes to the man who lives next door. She says, "How do you get your tomatoes so big and red?" He tells her, "You show them your privates at night time." So she leaves. That night later, she goes outside and shows the garden her privates. The next day she's got zucchinis a meter long!
So, Stephen Hawking walked into a bar—oh, wait a minute! Rewind!
So, Stephen Hawking rolled into a bar......
I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?
What do you call a paraplegic cannibal?
"Dine and dash."
Why do Christmas trees like wheelchairs? Because they have kids.
Why don't you see gay people in wheelchairs?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
What is the difference between a tree and walking home from a wheelchair?
I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.
I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.
What is Riley Brown's favorite game? Tipping over people in wheelchairs.
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RCXD (remote control explosive).
I gave a blind kid a gun and said it was a blow dryer.
John saw a Gay in a wheelchair.
"I didn't know a man could be a fruit and a Vegetable!"
I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.
It didn't work.
What's better than winning the Paralympics wheelchair race?
Walking.