Wheelchair jokes

Where was Stephen Hawking during the house fire?

The top of the stairs.

I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?

Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.

So I left my mom with my baby, and I was terrified when I came back; the wheelchair was in the water.

What do you do when you see a lady in a wheelchair?

You grab a stick and put it through the wheelchair and call her nunchucks.

What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?

Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.

Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.

My friend was in a wheelchair, so I rolled him in fire. Now I call him Hot Wheels.

Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.

How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?

The wheelchair rises to the top.

Why couldn't Stephen Hawking pass? Because he couldn't pass "I'm not a robot" test.

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? A Drive-Thru.

My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.

He couldn’t stand it anymore with his sister because he is in a wheelchair.

What's the best part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.

What does Can do after eating its vegetables?

Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite hobby?

Rolling on ice.

What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?

A dead cripple.

My son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.