Wheelchair jokes
A boxer talks with his fists.
Stephen Hawking talks with his wheelchair.
What does Stephen Hawking say after sex? That was wheely good.
I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.
I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.
Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same.
The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr. Independent and insists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!
What do you do when you see a lady in a wheelchair?
You grab a stick and put it through the wheelchair and call her nunchucks.
Yo mama's so ugly, even the kid in the wheelchair ran.
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?..
Hot Wheels.
Why didn't Steven Hawkins get into fights?
'Cause he couldn't stand up for himself.
When I went to heaven, I saw Steven Hawking standing there. I asked why he isn’t in heaven yet. He said there are stairs.
Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.
My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.
I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.
What is the difference between a human and a human rights act and a walk home and walk walk home from home and walk walk home and a wheelchair to wheelchair and wheelchair to wheelchair for wheelchair home night time to a home was fun at home night was the day I had dinner is it fun for me I was going to be a walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home night time?
I got my son a bike for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair all day crying.
Have you ever wondered why you never see a gay guy in a wheelchair?
It’s hard to become a vegetable when you’re already a fruit.
What's the worst part about microwaving vegetables?
Fitting the wheelchair in.
Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.
Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.
Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.
I told her, "Do a wheelie!"
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
What do you call a person in a wheelchair?
Anything they can't catch you.