Whats jokes
I was making holy water, and my girlfriend walked in, saying, "What are you doing?"
I said, "Making holy water."
She said, "How are you making holy water?"
I'm boiling the hell out of it.
What do you call a bald Mexican?
A huevo.
What is black and white and red all over?
Answer: A newspaper.
That is what my 3-year-old told me.
What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Dam.
What is an orphan’s favorite game? Adopt me.
What do you call a funny chicken?
A comedi-hen!
What two things can you never have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner!
Two hotdogs are walking across the street. One is walking slow. What does the 2nd one say?
"Ketchup!"
What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.
What did the dad say to the kid?
Nothing, he went to get the milk.
What is the perfect job for a pedophile?
A physical doctor for kids.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad did not beat cancer.
Do you know what you call a bunch of depressed kids?
"Suicide Squad!"
I never knew what my dad's job was.
One day, at school, I got a scam phone call, later, I got another, and another. I finally had enough and answered the phone, but to make an impact I said "Hello?"
My dad answered...
And the children of Israel wandered round the desert for 40 years, until eventually Moses' wife said, "Are you going to ask for directions, or what?"
If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do suicidal people and apples have in common?
They both hang from trees.
What did the priest say to the Muslim? Wazza!
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of toddlers.
A disabled man stands up.
A blind man says, "You can stand?"
A deaf man says, "You can see?"
A mute person says, "You can hear?"
The disabled man says, "You can talk!"
Doctor: "What the actual f**k"