
Whats jokes
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite type of candy?
A: Loli-pops.
I see 2 fighting with 3. "What's going on?" I ask. 5 responds: "The numbers are moving on up."
What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?
No ballroom.
A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing bet of one thousand dollars that their bartender could squeeze a lemon dry until all the juice ran into a glass, and anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried but failed. Over time, weight lifters, lumberjacks, men in the Army, and etc. But still, nobody could do it.
One day, a scrawny little man came in wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit and said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said, "okay," and he grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rhine to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the one thousand dollars and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight lifter, or what?" The man simply replied, "I work for the IRS."
What da hood calls you when you are the new cult leader
What's the difference between 20 and 14?
9 to 10 years.
What did the Joker say to Harley Quinn?
Nothing.
What do you call a selfie of an orphan?
A family photo.
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
NASA's response: National Aeronautics and Space Administration.
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
Arinator's response: National Ariana and Space Ariana.
What’s the difference between Anne Frank and Harry Potter?
Only one came out of the chamber.
What is a sheep's favorite soccer player? Paul Pogbaaa.
What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree?
It left him hanging.
- Mommy, what will I be when I'm grown up?
- Shut up, Sam, you've got cancer!
Me: Can I borrow your CD?
Friend: What CD?
Me: See deez nuts in your mouth.
What did they call Susan B. Anthony when she was sleeping on the job? Snoozin' B. Anthony!
What do people have that orphans don't? A family.
What's worse than 100 dead babies in a skip?
The one that's still alive in the middle trying to eat its way out.
What's the most horrifying video in the world?
Logan Paul vlogs.
What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.
What did the salad dressing say to the tomato?
"Don't look! I'm dressing!"
