Whats jokes
What time eeeeeee?
1. Your face is so ugly, I thought it was deformed. It probably was anyways.
2. Even if Donald Trump had time to build a wall, it was probably so you won't squish us with your fatass.
If someone says your face is deformed, just say that's what happens when I look at you.
Welcome.
What's red, green, and smells like shit?
... Red and green shit.
What's the difference between cancer and me?
My dad didn't beat cancer... Whelp, I guess I stole that one.
What do you get when you cross an eagle with a lion?
A griffin.
Memes
What do you call a whiteboard that is dirty?
A dirty whiteboard.
What's black, blue, and red, laying in a ditch?
You after you disrespect me.
What did Paul Revere yell during a full moon?
The British are cumming! The British are cumming!
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Your father.
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan. I mean, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What did the man say to his wife? "Make me a damn sandwich, woman!"
A dad asked his son what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday, and he replied, "How about a urinal cake?!"
What part of a vegetable can't you eat?
The wheelchair.
Q: What time does an Asian go to the dentist?
A: 2:30
What do you call a stupid male Indian?
"Anshu-man."
What would Stephen Hawking do to get drunk?
Overcharge himself.
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common?
That it will never get old.
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady? You can unscrew a lightbulb.
I was out ice fishing and had no nibbles all morning.
About noon, this old guy comes out, drills a hole near mine, and starts catching fish as fast as he can bait the hook. I was getting frustrated without any luck, so I went over to ask him his secret. He said "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg."
I said, "Excuse me, I didn't get that?" so he mumbles even louder, "Ymd ggt tm kppp tth yaems womg!" I shook my head and said, "I'm sorry, but I still didn't understand what you said."
Frustrated, the man spits out a wad out of his mouth and says, "YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE WORMS WARM!"
So I came across a guy who was carrying a ton of clothing and makeup.
And I asked him what he is doing.
Guy: Some kawaii girl told me if I bought and brought her this crap, she would let me play with her tits.
Me: Erm... Are you a simp?
Two minutes later, the guy arrived at Kawaii Girl's house.
KG: You have it?
Guy: Yup, now can I play with them?
KG: Sure!
KG then went to her room.
Guy: Ohhhh, I know what your going to do. You're gonna call me over and you will be-
KG then held a bird cage with two birds in it.
KG: Have fun playing with them!
Guy: WHAT THE FU-