Whats jokes
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
A Cock-a-POODLE-Doo!
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
Guess what's "tiiiimmeeeee ABDE?"
....yes, it is "long time no see."
What do you call a magician that makes beer? Brew-dini?
What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?...
Michael Phelps can finish a race.
What’s something you can say about your clothes but not your partner?
It’s just a rental.
What does Kurt have in common with painters?
They paint walls.
What did the female farmer say to the person who raises a male chicken? "Nice cock!"
What's the difference between a boomerang and a Black father?
A boomerang comes back.
What's a cancer patient's favorite food?
Kentucky Fried Chemotherapy
Q: What do gay horses say?
A: "Geigh!"
What's the difference between a prostitute and a Democrat? A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.
I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.
Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!
Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
Angela: Kris, I just met the nicest, sweetest guy ever.
Kristie: Who is he and what is his name?
Angela: His name is Kevin.
Kristie: Kevin? I remember him. He said he had to go to Italy for a meeting, never seen him after that. What the hell is Kevin doing here?
Angela: I don't know.
I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.
My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"
So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."
What type of bow can't be tied?
Rainbow.
What is a victimless crime in the state of Michigan if you are an able-bodied man who is well-endowed, not white, and not a heterosexual male?
A white male who is heterosexual and physically disabled who is sodomized by an able-bodied and well-endowed gay male who is not white inside the men's locker room at the gym.
What song can't orphans sing?
"Sweet Home Alabama."
What do Americans call high school?
Shooting range.