Whats jokes

If you ever get mad at an orphan, punch them in the face... What are they going to do, tell their parents?

What do you call a cow in a moving van?

A: A mooving cow.

What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?

One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.

What did chemical 1 say to chemical 2?

"I think you're overreacting."

I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.

What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?...

Michael Phelps can finish a race.

What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?

Santa got the milk.

What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?

Miracle Whip.

What do you call an artist with a brown finger?

Picasshole.

What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?

"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."

What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?

Two tight ends and a wide receiver.

What do you call an emo girl with a flat chest?

A cutting board.

"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"

My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a clown into the tiny car.

What do you call inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off.

"What do you give a man that has everything? Penicillin."

"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter!"

My dog is a genius... I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing.