Whats jokes
I asked, "Mom, what's that in the sky?"
Mom replied with, "That's your father."
My friend asks me what does "idk" mean. I said, "I dion't know." My friend says, "You mean I don't know." I said, "That's what I said!"
First date be like:
Me: "I work with animals every day."
Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"
Me: "I'm a butcher."
What do cannibals call a wheelchair user?
"Uber Eats."
What's the difference between parents and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back from the store with milk.
Wouldn’t the person be dead before the strangling starts? Unless Alastor did surgery?
What was going through the heads of people in Manhattan witnessing 9/11?
Tower 1...
Roses are red, violets are blue, gum makes me beautiful, but what happened to you?
One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.
She asked me, "What are you doing?"
I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."
She asked, "What does that mean?"
I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
"Spider-Man: Homecoming"
"What do you tell a person with depression?
Just hang in there, buddy!"
What do you call an adopted orphan?
Wanted.
Why do orphans read BL or GL?
Cause they get to see what it’s like with a mummy or daddy.
Why does the orphan not buy milk?
That's what their parents are doing.
What do you call an annoyed octopus?
Octopissy.
Guy: Hi, how was your day today?
Woman: Good!
Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*
Guy: How many months pregnant are you?
Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.
What did the soccer player say to the flight attendant? "Please put me in coach!"
What's something an orphan likes but doesn't have?
A family.
What does a baby and a grenade have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
What kind of cake can an orphan not have?
Homemade.
OK, OK, what's up with the fake Gwens? I am going to use a test to see who is real or not.
The real Gwen will know this. When did I come onto this website? Next question, what is my real name, and do I go on cursing rampages? Only the real Gwen can complete this test with the right answers.