Whats jokes

What do you call a U.S. border hopper?

A Mexican jumping bean.

What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.

What do moms want for Mother's Day? Replacement silverware.

My son caught me masturbating the other day and was like, "Dad, what are you doing?" I said, "Don't worry, you'll be doing it soon." He said, "Why is that?" I told him, "My arm is getting tired."

Sara's Mom was helping her prepare for her driver's test.

Mom: "Okay, any questions?"

Sara: "Yes. I actually don't know what "yield" means."

Mom: "Don't worry, Hon. No one does."

What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?

They shellabrated their mommy.

What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.

Why do orphans like to go to church?

So they have someone to call father.

If you're bored, punch an orphan in the face. What is he gonna do, tell his parents?

What’s the difference between the Twin Towers and McDonald's?

McDonald's has a drive through. Twin Towers has a fly through.

Woman gets pulled over by a cop.

Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"

Lady: "No, officer."

Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"

Lady: "Just water, officer."

Cop: "Looks like wine to me."

Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What's the difference between Palestine and yo mama?

Yo mama can be found on Google maps.

What do a bike and a rubber duck have in common? They both have a handlebar, except for the duck.

What is black, white, and red all over?

My third wife.

What's hard about walking through a bunch of dead babies?

My dick.

"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient.

"Give me the good news first," the patient said.

"Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live."

"That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"

"I've been trying to reach you for two days."

My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.

What’s the hardest bit about having anal sex?

Repeatedly getting a cock shoved in your arse🤣

What do you call 1 normal kid and 2 retarded kids smoking weed?

Pot roast.