Whats jokes
Q. You know what really bugs me?
A. Insect puns.
What does a stick say when it falls down? "Wood you help me up?"
Someone asked me what the worst mistake you could make while being at work was, and I replied, "Being a doctor and mixing up the oral and rectal thermometers."
Sometimes I look in the mirror and go, "What happened?"
What did the diver say when he was trapped in seaweed?
- Kelp!
What did Yoda say to Luke during his wedding ceremony?
"May divorce be with you."
What did the bus say to the other bus?
"Beep!"
What is the most unrealistic thing about Harry Potter?
A ginger with friends.
What do you call a lesbian pirate?
Red Beard.
What did the computer say when it was tired of the user?
Kiss my ASCII!
What's one thing a homing missile can't kill?
An orphan.
What flour do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising.
What hit the ground first in 9/11? The people.
What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.
What’s the difference between a leaf and an emo kid falling out of a tree? The leaf reaches the ground.
What makes genders and Twin Towers similar?
There used to be two of them, and now it's a sensitive subject.
What's a little white dot on a priest's dick? A baby tooth.
What's the difference between a sidewalk, a drug dealer, and a prostitute?
A: A sidewalk's crack doesn't leave an odor!
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? A Drive-Thru.
What did the German Shepherd dog say to Hitler?
"Mein Führer ist steckenbleiben in meinen Zähnen."