Whats jokes
Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.
Me: Cool, what rank of officer?
Jim: SS.
Me:...
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.
What's pink and rusty? Madeline McCann's bike.
Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?
Stop imagining!
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
What are cheetahs' favorite chips?
Cheetah Puffs!
What do you call a selfie of an orphan? A family photo.
"Our all-transgender brigade has suffered heavy casualties!"
"What? We haven’t even sent them to fight!"
"They’ve already lost 30% of the unit!"
What do you call a person with no nose and no body?
Nobody knows.
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.
A couple and their friends were riding their tricycle, and one wheel fell off. They discussed what to do, and finally the friend said, "Why don't you just use me?" The boyfriend said, "Why did I not think of using the third wheel?"
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.
Dad: What time do you wanna go to the dentist?
Daughter: *tooth hurty*
Dad: All right.
Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?
Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
A kid had school today.
He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)
Me scrolling through jokes that sum up my life, starts crying.
My friend: What’s wrong?
Me: Nothing, it's just so funny. Lol😂🤣😂
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they need to know what it’s like to be wanted.
What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real Jesus?
The picture only takes one nail to hang.