Whats jokes
What did the hot dog say to the condom? "Hot dog condom style."
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and your parents?
Nothing. They are both just memories.
What's the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
The criminal is wanted.
What's the difference between Jesus and a holy whore?
Jesus got pegged against a cross.
Does anyone know what's going on with all the creeps that joined and restart your school laptop to get everything unblocked?
What’s the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.
He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"
She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."
What did one aborted baby say to the other? Nothing. They're both dead.
What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"
What do you call an ex-lesbian?
A clitter quitter.
My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?
"Time to hit the sack!"
What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.
What's pink and rusty? Madeline McCann's bike.
Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?
Stop imagining!
What is an Irish kiss?
Fellatio from a gay Irishman.
What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?
"I'm sorry, I just had to."
"Our all-transgender brigade has suffered heavy casualties!"
"What? We haven’t even sent them to fight!"
"They’ve already lost 30% of the unit!"
What do you call a group of transgender women?
X-Men.
Girls: OMG what color should I use, baby blue, light blue, or navy blue?
Boys: blue is blue.