Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!
Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!
The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.
The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?
What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school?
Hi.
What animal has five legs? A pitbull returning from a playground.
What is the difference between an ISIS training camp and a school?
Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.
What do you call 8 x 3.14?
Octopi.
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
I went home one day and see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what's going on, my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guess what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.
What is a yellow dog Libertarian?
A yellow dog Libertarian is a Libertarian who is blindly loyal to the Libertarian Party, he or she who is a yellow dog Libertarian is a card carrying member of the Libertarian Party who would not vote for a progressive Democrat or a conservative Republican even if their life depended on it! 🐕 🗽
What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?
Filipino.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft?
“A sped runner.”
What did Stevie Wonder see when he got murdered?
Nothing.
What did Stephen Hawking get for his B-Day?
Chocolate arm.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
"Highway to Hell."
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A bus full of children.
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.
What is a porn star's favourite potato crisp flavour...
Prawn cocktail.
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
What is a group of singing terrorists called? A Taliband.
What do you call an orphan that grows to be a priest?
Fatherless.
What do you call an autistic kid with orange hair?
A boomerang.
