Whats jokes
A father and three sons are renovating a house when a wall of that house collapses and breaks the father's back. Keeping calm, he tells the sons, "Well, I guess this is what you would call back-breaking labor." He chuckled, then passed out from pain.
Kid: "I fucked your mom."
Orphan: "What's a mom?"
What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?
The cat is still alive.
What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?
Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.
Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?
Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.
What do you call an appetite including apples? Appletite.
What should you do if you meet a giant? Use big words.
What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
Michael Jackson.
What's the difference between a smart blonde and a dinosaur?
The dinosaur once existed.
What do Michael Jackson and math have in common? They are both hard for kids.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
"Adopt Me."
What is the difference between an apple spread and an orphan spread?
Apples get picked.
What's the difference between a terrorist base and an elementary school?
— Don't ask me. How should I know? I'm just the drone pilot.
What's a rapper's favorite type of pet?
A rhyming parrot.
What is a woman's name with one leg?
Eileen.
What do you call a country who needs another race just to be the best country in sports?
America.
My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn't get what he wanted. I told my friend there's a new attraction a few states away he could take him to.
Confused, my friend asked me what it was. I told him, "The Sandy Hook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a 'hole' lot of fun."
What's black and at the top of a staircase?
Not Stephen Hawking.
What is 3 feet tall and sits at the bottom of children's beds?
A: Garry Glitter's boots.
To all of you who can't understand using jokes as a coping mechanism... you know what I will ask of you :)
Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.