Whats jokes
What mountain cries the most?
A mountain under water.
What did the bones on the moon tell the astronaut?
The cow never made it.
What's the easiest way to get straight A's? Use a ruler.
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
What did the mom say when her child came out?
"The head was so big!"
Memes
What’s the difference between a fruit and an orphan? One gets chosen :)
What do you get when you goblin with a shark?
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?
An escort.
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
What's long, hard, and slimy?
A bar of soap.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, God made me pretty, WHAT THE FRICK HAPPENED TO YOU?
And the winner of the Tour de France is awarded, as ever, with the yellow jersey.
To remind him what color his piss is meant to be.
If you were to ask me, "What is the easiest job in the world?", it would be an Australian psychiatrist.
"G'Day, G'Day...how you doing...no worries, next!"
What do old people have when they are sick.
A going away party.
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.
What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?
A slow swimmer...
What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?
A Tyrannosaurus Tex.
What did the orphan say to his stepmom?
"I need help."