Whats jokes

What do you tell twins that are in love with each other?

Go fuck yourselves!

What happened to the chicken after he died? He did not say anything, so I don't know.

"I work with animals," the man said to his date.

His date said, "I love a man who works with animals. What job is it for the animal?"

"I am a butcher," said the man.

What do you call a plate that lies? Dish-onest!

What do you give a pig when it has a rash?

Oinkment.

What do you call a swimming terrorist? A bath bomb.

What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can't hear an enzyme, but you can hear a hormone.

What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.

What did I do with the internet?

What has 8 heads and no legs? A monster.

What's Michael Jackson's favorite hobby?

Nothing because he's dead.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"

The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."

The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"

The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."

What type of phones do orphans have?

IPhone XR—it has no home button.

Q: What do kidnappers and rapists have in common?

H: It's similar to shoes.

A: White Vans.

What is the difference between Harry Houdini and everyone else in my life? Harry was the only person not to disappear.

What did the egg say to the other egg?

Nothing, they can't talk.

What type of sandals do frogs wear?

Open-toed.

What do you say when a person trips?

You say, "Why you trippin'?"

What did the orange say to the other orange?

I orange you glad!