Whats jokes
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.
What do you call a student in space?
An astrodent.
What's the worst thing to happen to a Japanese person in WW2... being drafted as a kamikaze pilot, or existing with a Fat Man or Little Boy?
Q: What's an orphan's favorite game?
A: The Sims 4, because then they can simulate having a family.
What did the fat guy say when he fell off the ladder? "Catch me!"
Memes
Today I was asked what I wanted to be, and I said I wanted to be a pinata because I want to be hanged.
Man: Hi, Doc, I have a problem. I take a shit at 6:00 AM every morning.
Doc: What's wrong with that?
Man: I don't wake up until 8:00 AM.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
What do you call an emo with a knife?
A cutting board.
What's 1 + 1?
What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no arms or legs? Names.
My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...
What happened?
Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.
What's Kobe's favorite song?
"Helicopter Helicopter"
What do you call it when a guy named Fred enters Panera Bread?
Panera Fred.
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA because all the black guys are playing.
What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?
"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."
I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.
What falls first, the emo or the leaf? The leaf. The emo was hanging.
What did the frog do when his car broke down?
It was toad.
What was JFK's favorite school TV show?
BrainPop.
What’s Queen Elizabeth’s pickup line?
You’re breathtaking!