Whats jokes
What do you call a bunch of Aboriginals rolling down a hill?
Abo-lanche.
What's the difference between me and a bus?
I'm not on fire...
What do you call it when you get away with masturbating in the shower?
You got off clean.
What did the chef say to the skeleton?
"Bone appetit!"
What is the difference between a kid with cancer and dark humor?
Dark humor never dies!
Me when I’m texting somebody and their spelling is so bad I can’t understand what they’re saying
What do you call a group of depressed teens?
Suicide Squad.
What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?
Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.
What do you call a black person in a swimming pool?
Coco Pops.
What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reali-tea.
What type of cake can't orphans eat?
Home made.
What’s the difference between school and prison? One is painted.
What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a computer? Ctrl+Alt+Delete.
What do you call a group of black people?
A hoodie.
My son said, "What rhymes with orange?"
I said, "No, it doesn't!"
A man who drinks a lot is told by his wife that if he ever gets drunk again she will leave him.
Later, the man goes to a pub and drinks a lot and throws up all down his jacket. 'Oh no,' he says to his friend, 'if I go home like this again, my wife will leave me.' 'Don't worry,' his friend says. 'Put a £20 note in your jacket pocket. When your wife challenges you, produce the money and say another man threw up on you and gave you the £20 note for the dry cleaning.' 'Brilliant!' the man says and goes home. He walks through his front door and his wife sees him. She is furious. 'No no,' the man says, producing the money from his inside pocket. 'A man threw up on me and gave me £20 for the dry cleaning.' 'What's the other £20 note for?' asks his wife. 'Ah, that's from the man who shat in my pants.....'
What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?
At least you don’t die when you shower.
What is the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
What happened the night Stephen Hawking came home wasted?
Nothing... wife couldn’t tell.
What if little Johnny was doing drugs?
"Johnny, Johnny?"
"Yes, Papa?"
"Eating sugar?"
"No, Papa..."