Whats jokes

What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?

A white elephant.

What's long, hard, and slimy?

A bar of soap.

If you were to ask me, "What is the easiest job in the world?", it would be an Australian psychiatrist.

"G'Day, G'Day...how you doing...no worries, next!"

What do old people have when they are sick.

A going away party.

What did the egg say to the other egg?

Nothing, they can't talk.

What type of sandals do frogs wear?

Open-toed.

And the winner of the Tour de France is awarded, as ever, with the yellow jersey.

To remind him what color his piss is meant to be.

What did the orange say to the other orange?

I orange you glad!

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk.

What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.

What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?

A slow swimmer...

What did the orphan say to his stepmom?

"I need help."

What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop!

What did the cactus look like with his tuxedo on?

Sharp! 🤣

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

What's yellow but can't swim?

A bus full of children.

What does an orphan call a family picture?

Answer: a selfie.

What is a duck's favorite drink to sip on? Duck wine.

I said "Uranus!" and the girl beside me face-palmed. I wonder what I did wrong?

When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?

I think that you're an accident!