Whats Jokes

What do you call a devil texting you? Travelers on the way. 😈🤣

An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.

What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."

What do you call an orphan taking a family photo? A selfie.

What's brown and sticky? A stick!

One day, Jim saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. He asked if he was an orphan.

The kid said, “Yeah, what gave me away?”

Jim said, “I don’t see any parents.”

What’s the only positive thing about Freddie Mercury’s death?

The HIV test results.

What do you call a religious drug addict?

A crystal methodist.

What’s the hardest part about making vegetable soup?

To put the wheelchair in the pot.

What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

Q: Do you know why God created yeast infections?

A: So women will know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt, too.

What is the most common crime in Asia?

Identity fraud.

What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow?

You can't milk a cow for over 10 years.

What do you call a Chinese assassin?

Chinese takeout.

What do a male pornstar and an emo have in common?

They are both hung.

What do you call a nun on a bike?

Virgin Mobile.

What do British politics and transgender people have in common?

Both aren't what they used to be...

God creates dog.

God: "You are man's best friend."

Dog: "That's pretty sexist."

God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"

Dog: "....."

God: "And chocolate kills you!"

Dog: "🐶"

What's the difference between you and an egg?

An egg gets laid.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a Black person? One gets paid, the other got enslaved.

Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?

Batman: A dick.

Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!