Whats jokes
What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
What is a snake’s favourite subject?
Hiss-tory!
What’s the craziest thing Kurt Cobain released?
The safety.
What is the difference between cum and milk? Nothing. They are both white and tasty.
What does the Bible stand for?
Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.
What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?
The cat is still alive.
What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?
Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.
A man was kneeling on the church floor, crying desperately in front of the large wooden statue of Christ.
"My headphones are broken, Lord... I'm desperate... What should I do? Guide me!"
And the Lord appeared in the form of bright light, and the strong, deep voice filled the man's soul.
"WELL BUY NEW ONES, YOU DUMBASS!"
And so he did.
One day I was texting my friend on Roblox and I made her mad. She told me she was gonna kill me.
That night, she told me to meet her at the bathroom at 2 PM sharp, but she made "sharp" in all caps. So I went to the bathroom at 2 PM the next day. Now I know what she meant by "SHARP" on Roblox... she brought a knife, and I was in hell by then. Like for the next part!
What is Beethoven doing right now?
Nothing, because he is dead.
What's more fun than nailing a baby to the floor?
Ripping it off with a kick!
What do Japanese men do when they vote?
They have an erection.
There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.
What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.
What's the best thing about f*cking twenty-eight-year-olds?
There's twenty of them.
What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!
What did the wire say to the electrician?
"Stop twisting my nuts!"
What is long, yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What does a man with no arms or legs do on Halloween?
Nothing.
What do you call a mushroom that makes music?
A decomposer.
What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby?
I don't jizz on an apple before eating it.
One dark stormy night when I was 8 years old, I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee. Half asleep, I walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door, I felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically, and the ghostly sound stopped. Terrified, I did what I had to and went back to bed.
The next 3 nights, the same thing happened, and finally, I decided I had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up, I went into my parents' room and woke my mom up and said, "You have to come with me and see this, it's really important." Half asleep, she murmured, "Oh, what is it? Can't it wait until the morning?" I pleaded, "No, you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost. When I go in the middle of the night, I can hear a ghost sound. Then when I open the door, I feel the cold as it swoops through me, and the light comes on automatically." She yawned and said, "Oh, so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator."