My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...
What happened?
Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.
Whats Jokes
What's Kobe's favorite song?
"Helicopter Helicopter"
What do you call it when a guy named Fred enters Panera Bread?
Panera Fred.
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA because all the black guys are playing.
What did the poo say when it fell out of your bum?
"Your anus looks like my mum's bedsheet which is smelly and covered in poo."
I also just wanted to add that a Goonie's anus looks like my nan's mouth.
What falls first, the emo or the leaf? The leaf. The emo was hanging.
What did the frog do when his car broke down?
It was toad.
What was JFK's favorite school TV show?
BrainPop.
What’s Queen Elizabeth’s pickup line?
You’re breathtaking!
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms or legs? Matt.
What goes cackle, cackle, *bonk*?
A witch laughing its head off.
What is a dirty minded Harry Potter fan's favorite spell before the deed? Dickus Embigus!
What is white and 9 inches?
Nothing.
What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?
A. Condoms have evolved. They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.
What part of a vegetable can't you eat? The wheelchair.
One day, a little girl was texting her friend. "Guess what, Angelica!" said the little girl.
"What?" Angelica replied.
"I'm a guy."
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
Guess what you get when you cross a dark side and your king?
Two windmills stand at a farm. One asks the other, "What is your favorite kind of music?"
The other windmill replies, "I'm a huge metal fan!"
