Whats jokes
What did one brick say to the other? Never LEGO.
"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
"To the morgue."
"What? But I’m not dead yet!"
"And we’re not there yet."
Q: What do Mexicans love to wear in the air force?
A: Air Force Juans.
What’s the best part about banging twenty-eight year olds? There are twenty of them.
What is a blind person's favorite color?
Black.
Memes
What do you call a black comedian?
Dark Humor.
What did Santa Claus bring Michael Jackson for Christmas? His elves! 😂😂😂
What is a gay person's favorite book?
The dictionary.
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Keep this shit between you and me."
What do you call a sick eagle?
Ill-eagle! 😂
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
What did the knight say to his younger brother? "Good night."
You expected a silly pun there, didn't you? That's pretty rude. It makes light of the struggles of being a knight. Especially a good knight.
A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him. Everyone else in the room stops to listen:
Man: Hello? Woman: Hi honey, it's me. Are you at the club? Man: Yes. Woman: I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man: Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman: I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man: How much? Woman: $90,000. Man: Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman: Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market... they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man: I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman: OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man: I love you to.
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.
The man turns around and says: “Anyone know whose phone this is?”
What's the difference between a potted plant and your wife?
The first is easier to bury.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can’t abuse an alligator.
What do you say to a ugly girl who claims to have been raped?
“Are you sure you didn’t rape him?”
What do you call a rich Chinese person?!? Kaching!
What do you call a cool octopus?
Tenta-cool (tentacle)
What is another name for a serial rapist? Short dress enthusiast.
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.