Whats

Whats jokes

Fish

What did the swordfish say to the marlin? You're looking sharp.

Orphan

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? An apple gets picked.

Glass

Doctor: You need new glasses.

Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.

Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.

Memes

Poop

So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Light Bulb

What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

Cash

What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?

Cash and carry.

Jesus

What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?

You’ll only need a single nail to hang the picture frame up.

Wheelchair

A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." "What do you expect?" he says, "You're in a fucking wheelchair!"

Woman

A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"

Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"

"Our wedding video."

Priest

What's the difference between a penis and the bible? Nothing, the priest shoved them both down my throat.