Whats jokes
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.
What do you call all down syndromes?
Twins.
What is a gay person's favorite book?
The dictionary.
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Keep this shit between you and me."
What is a blind person's favorite color?
Black.
Memes
What did Santa Claus bring Michael Jackson for Christmas? His elves! 😂😂😂
What’s a teacher's favorite tree?
A geometry.
What’s the best part about banging twenty-eight year olds? There are twenty of them.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
What do you call a sick eagle?
Ill-eagle! 😂
What did the knight say to his younger brother? "Good night."
You expected a silly pun there, didn't you? That's pretty rude. It makes light of the struggles of being a knight. Especially a good knight.
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
Q: What do Mexicans love to wear in the air force?
A: Air Force Juans.
What did one brick say to the other? Never LEGO.
I asked what LGBTQ stands for, and I couldn’t get a straight answer.
A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him. Everyone else in the room stops to listen:
Man: Hello? Woman: Hi honey, it's me. Are you at the club? Man: Yes. Woman: I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man: Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman: I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man: How much? Woman: $90,000. Man: Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman: Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market... they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man: I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman: OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man: I love you to.
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.
The man turns around and says: “Anyone know whose phone this is?”
What do you say to a ugly girl who claims to have been raped?
“Are you sure you didn’t rape him?”
What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can’t abuse an alligator.
What's the difference between a potted plant and your wife?
The first is easier to bury.
What did the penis say to the condom?
"Cover me, I'm going in!"