Whats jokes

What does your mom and a slinky have in common?

They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.

What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.

What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?

Hop in.

What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.

A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”

"What happened to your arm?" "Oh, uh... I became a gacha emo."

What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig? -- The letter F.

What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.

What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.

What's brown and rather bad for your dental health?

- A baseball bat.

Boy goes to Confession.

Boy: "What are you doing, father?"

Priest: "It's called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."

Boy: "Why do you say that, father?"

Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired."

A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills.

The cop asks the woman, "Where did an old lady like you get all of that money?"

She replies, "Well, there's a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. It became a problem because it kills the flowers."

The cop asks, "So what did you do about it?"

The old lady says, "I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. When a golfer sticks his penis through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF!"

"That seems fair enough," the cop says, "so what's in the other sack?"

The old lady replies with, "Not everyone pays..."

What is the difference between McDonald's and 9/11?

McDonald's has a drive-through. Twin Towers has a fly-through.

I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite type of comedy? Stand up.

What did one nut say to the other? Ignore the guy in the middle. He's a d!ck.

What do you call a dwarf suicide bomber?

A party popper.

What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.

What's the difference between my thighs and my eyebrows? Nothing, I slit both of them.

The teacher asks her class, "What is sex?" and Little Jonny stands up and says, "Sex is the temptation caused by the sensation when a boy sticks his location into a girl's destination. Did you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?" and the teacher fainted.