Whats jokes
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it. It ain't coming.
What's the difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos? The bar code on the emo kid gets longer every day.
What's the worst thing about committing suicide? You can only do it once.
What's the only regret you would have when you eventually kill yourself? It wasn't sooner.
A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”
What's long, black and full of seamen? A submarine.
Child: *drinking milk*
Farmer: Hey, what are you doing?
Child: Oh, I just milked one of your cows.
Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls.
Child: *realizes*
What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
What type of file does it take to turn a 4 mm hole to a 44 mm hole?
A pedophile.
Kid asks, "What is dark humor?" Me *points*, "See that guy across the street..." Kid: "I can't... I'm blind." Me: "Exactly."
What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
What game do emo kids love the most? Hangman.
Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT! GET OUT!"
Priest: "Ok, what about the children?"
Father: "FUCK THE CHILDREN!"
Priest: "Do you think we'll have time?"
Man: What's up?
Me: I'm annoyed.
Man: Why?
Me: I stole my gf's heart.
Man: So why are you annoyed?
Me: Everyone else in the surgery room gave me weird looks.
What's a similarity between a cliff hanger and nooses?
They both leave you hanging.
I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money.
Last night, I fucked a chick named Penny. What are the odds?
I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better...
But now I don't know what to do with the letters.
What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.
What do you do when life gives you lemons? Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist. 🙂💊💉
Q: What does LMAO mean?
A: Launching Missiles At Orphanages.
What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.