Whats jokes

What is the best cure for aging?

Suicide.

What is Hitler's favorite game?

Nahtzee.

What's the worst thing about committing suicide? You can only do it once.

What's the only regret you would have when you eventually kill yourself? It wasn't sooner.

A blonde crashed a helicopter. A police officer asked her what happened. She says, "It got cold so I turned off the fan."

What's the difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos? The bar code on the emo kid gets longer every day.

Child: *drinking milk*

Farmer: Hey, what are you doing?

Child: Oh, I just milked one of your cows.

Farmer: We don't have any cows, we only have bulls.

Child: *realizes*

What's the most played game in Africa? Hunger Games.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It don't matter what you call it. It ain't coming.

What do milk and Make-A-Wish kids have in common? They both have expiration dates.

What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?

The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

What game do emo kids love the most? Hangman.

What type of file does it take to turn a 4 mm hole to a 44 mm hole?

A pedophile.

What's a similarity between a cliff hanger and nooses?

They both leave you hanging.

I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money.

Last night, I fucked a chick named Penny. What are the odds?

I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better...

But now I don't know what to do with the letters.

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist. 🙂💊💉

Kid asks, "What is dark humor?" Me *points*, "See that guy across the street..." Kid: "I can't... I'm blind." Me: "Exactly."

What does your mom and a slinky have in common?

They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.

What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.

What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?

Same time next month?