Whats jokes

What do you call an alligator that can't get hard? A reptile dysfunction.

"What does the word 'gay' mean?" asked a son of his father.

"It means 'happy'," replied the father.

"Oh," contested the son, "so you are gay then?"

"No, son, I have a wife."

Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? One's made of plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other carries groceries.

What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? - Their balls are just for decoration.

What happened to the blind man's son?

He thought he was hitting a piñata.

Q. What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?

A. Toothpaste.

What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal?

LIFE.

What do you call a piece of tech that acts emo?

Cutting-edge Technology.

What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.

What's the difference between a mosquito and a pornstar? One stops sucking when you smack it.

What's the best thing about abortion jokes?

They never get old.

What do you call it when a midget waves at you?

A microwave.

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?

Nothing.

30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven. God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way. The first lady, she was obsessed with her looks, so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish. The next person didn't know what to wish for, so they wished for the same thing. The guy in the very back was laughing, having a grand old time. Then God got to the person before the last. He said the same, he wished to be beautiful. When God got to the last person, he said, "I want them all to be ugly again."

Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT! GET OUT!"

Priest: "Ok, what about the children?"

Father: "FUCK THE CHILDREN!"

Priest: "Do you think we'll have time?"

What do K-mart and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both have boys' pants half off.

What do Polish people in Poland use chop sticks for?

tweezers.

"Monica Lewinsky has gone down on Bill Clinton several times. What's stopping her from having a one-night stand with Donald Trump?"

"Trump is nothing more than a little pussy, don't ya know?"

What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman? You can unscrew the lightbulb.