Whats

Whats jokes

Memes

Blonde

A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says, "Okay, I'd like you to point to wherever it hurts." So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says, "Here. Ow." She then pokes her arm and says, "Here. Ow." She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop.

The doctor says, "I know what's happened to you." "What's happened to me?" The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, "You have a broken finger."

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  • Blonde

    What is the difference between butter and a blonde? - Butter is difficult to spread.

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  • Song

    What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?

    Head, shoulders, screws, and bolts.

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  • Daddy

    "I'm not sure why my girlfriend's father doesn't like me."

    "What was your first impression on him?"

    "I told him, she calls me daddy too."

    Mailman

    Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what they're doing and the father says: "Well...we're making you a brother." So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he's going to have a brother soon.

    The next day when little Jonny's father comes home, Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what's wrong. Jonny cries: "I won't have a baby brother!" His father is confused. "What do you mean?" he asks. "Because the mailman came by today and ate him!"

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  • Fish

    What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam.

    What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.

    Depression

    Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.

    My depression: hey, what's up!

    Me: go away.

    My depression: well how rude.

    Me: πŸ™„.

    My depression: remember that one time......

    Me: no, don't even.

    My depression: that we.....

    Me: nope.

    My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.

    Me: 😳😢😟.

    My depression: πŸ˜‰ don't worry I'll always be here for you.

    Refrigerator

    You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."

    Sloth

    What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn't need a rope to hang.

    Suicide

    What do you call it when a friend calms his suicidal friend? "Hang in there, buddy."

    Coconut

    What is the difference between a coconut and your ex?

    One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at, the other one is a coconut.

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