Whats jokes
What do you say after committing incest?
No Chromo!
What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.
You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.
What is black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
What do pedophiles and Xboxes have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
What's long and black? The line at KFC.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?
An orphan has all their teeth intact.
What is a reversed exorcism?
It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.
A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says, "Okay, I'd like you to point to wherever it hurts." So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says, "Here. Ow." She then pokes her arm and says, "Here. Ow." She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop.
The doctor says, "I know what's happened to you." "What's happened to me?" The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, "You have a broken finger."
What is the difference between butter and a blonde? - Butter is difficult to spread.
What does Michael Jackson like about 28 year olds? There's 20 of them!
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
Head, shoulders, screws, and bolts.
A depressed boy went to high five a tree, guess what the tree did?
The tree left him hanging.
"I'm not sure why my girlfriend's father doesn't like me."
"What was your first impression on him?"
"I told him, she calls me daddy too."
What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam.
What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.
What's a Mexican's favorite video game?
Borderlands.
Asked my dad what LGBT stands for.
He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously, I had to reply with "Garnish."
You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say, "Where are your parents?" The kid says, "What are parents?"
What do SpongeBob and Asians have in common?
They're both yellow and can't drive.
What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn't need a rope to hang.