Whats jokes

A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to.

He says to the first one, "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny."

He says to the second one, "You are addicted to food, you named your daughter Candy."

Then the third one whispers to her son, "Come on, Dick, let's go."

What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.

What do pedophiles and Xboxes have in common?

They both get turned on by kids.

What do you call a white man surrounded by black men? Coach.

What's long and black? The line at KFC.

What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?

An orphan has all their teeth intact.

What is a reversed exorcism?

It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.

What is black and screams?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says, "Okay, I'd like you to point to wherever it hurts." So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says, "Here. Ow." She then pokes her arm and says, "Here. Ow." She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop.

The doctor says, "I know what's happened to you." "What's happened to me?" The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, "You have a broken finger."

What is the difference between butter and a blonde? - Butter is difficult to spread.

What does Michael Jackson like about 28 year olds? There's 20 of them!

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?

Head, shoulders, screws, and bolts.

"I'm not sure why my girlfriend's father doesn't like me."

"What was your first impression on him?"

"I told him, she calls me daddy too."

Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what they're doing and the father says: "Well...we're making you a brother." So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he's going to have a brother soon.

The next day when little Jonny's father comes home, Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what's wrong. Jonny cries: "I won't have a baby brother!" His father is confused. "What do you mean?" he asks. "Because the mailman came by today and ate him!"

What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Dam.

What did the other fish say to that fish when he hit the wall? Dumb Bass.

What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn't need a rope to hang.

You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."

What do you call a dad in the mirror?

(Your imagination.)

What is Mexico's favorite sport? Cross country.

What do you call it when a friend calms his suicidal friend? "Hang in there, buddy."