Whats jokes

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and my uncle? Nothing, they both steal children.

What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?

They both enjoy kids' company.

My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,

"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"

Why can't orphans play poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.

What's the best thing about midgets??

They don't need to bend while giving blowjobs.

Son: Hey Dad, what's an alcoholic?

Dad: Well son, do you see those 4 cars? An alcoholic would see 8.

Son: Dad, there are only 2 cars.

What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.

What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.

What is worse than 16 babies in 16 dumpsters? One baby in 16 dumpsters.

What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves?

Hans Solo.

What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

Depresso espresso.

If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?

A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"

What do you call a group of depressed kids?

The suicide squad.

What do you tell a dead metal fan?

Rust in peace.

What was the last thing that went through Princess Diana's mind?

The steering wheel.

What's worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree?

1 dead baby hanging off 1000 trees.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.

What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.